Ladybird, Ladybird
by Artemis J. Halk
Summary: Part 14/? of my "All Grown Up" series. It's no surprise that young kids oftentimes say things that embarrass their parents, but the things Louise Agreste says about her parents put them into hot water with Alya.


I couldn't get the idea of Louise singing the "Ladybird, Ladybird" nursery rhyme out of my head. I figure that Marinette would fully embrace all aspects of being a ladybug, including rather disturbing nursery rhymes. And then I was like "Okay, but what if Louise told Alya about her parents?" And then this was born.

The new villain is a character that I created for an original series that I'm working on, but... I figure that I can use her here, too. I might eventually get around to writing about her in my little "AU"... Eventually.

Also, I'm currently taking requests, if anybody has them. I can't promise that I will write it, but it wouldn't hurt to submit an idea anyway.

Finally, this has not been proof read, so if you spot any errors, please let me know so that I can fix them!

* * *

"Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home! Your house is on fire and your children will burn!" Louise Agreste chanted. With each syllable, her feet hit squares marked with chalk on the sidewalk until she'd reached the end, and then she started to go back.

"That's a cute rhyme," Alya remarked carefully to the little girl. "Where did you learn that?"

"My maman!" Louise exclaimed, mid-hop. She jumped into the next square before she abandoned the game and ran over to her honorary aunt. "Auntie Alya! Auntie Alya!" She leaned up close to Alya's ear. "Don't tell anybody, okay? But my maman and papa are Ladybug and Chat Noir!"

"R-Really?!" Alya somehow or another managed to get out. "And what makes you think that?"

"Because they fly all over the city! I've seen it! They leave me with you and Uncle Nino or with grand-mere and grand-pere when they go, though. Whenever there's an attack! They're all 'Louise! Do you want to go see grand-mere and grand-pere?!'" She mimicked Adrien's voice in the way that little children do. "They think that I don't know, but I do." She nodded firmly.

"Oh, I see," Alya said. She was beyond taken aback by this bold statement. It wasn't the strangest thing to come from the mouth of a child, and she knew odd statements well, thanks to her own daughter, Camille. However, she didn't quite know how to respond to such a statement.

Thankfully, said daughter in question came to Alya's rescue. "Come on, Louise! It's your turn again!" she said from the end of the hopscotch court.

Louise jumped off from Alya's lap and ran over to her friend. She accepted the pebble and began to chant as she hopped along. "Ladybird, ladybird, fly alway home…"

* * *

"Hey, Marinette, can I talk to you for a sec?" Alya said as she came by to drop Louise off.

"Sure, what about?" Marinette said as she looked down at her daughter. Alya also looked down at the two girls— one three, the other four— and then back at her friend. Marinette got the hint right away. "Hey Louise, chaton, why don't you and Camille go play in your room for a moment?"

"Okay maman!" Louise exclaimed cheerfully. She grabbed the older girl's hand and the two of them ran into the other room.

"What happened?" Marinette said sharply the second the two were gone. However, she was careful to keep her voice down in case it was something distressing.

"Nothing bad, I promise!" Alya said with a quick wave of her hand. "It's just… Louise said something, and it got me thinking…"

Marinette put her hand over her eyes and slowly pulled it down in exasperation. "What did she do now?"

"She seems to be under the impression that you and Adrien are Ladybug and Chat Noir," Alya said with a cocked eyebrow.

Marientte's hand had just fallen from her face, but with seconds of Alya saying that, her hand was right back over her eyes. "Louise, Jesus. I don't know why-"

Alya threw back her head and laughed soundly. "Don't worry about it, Marinette. You're not the first person to have a kid say something weird. The other week, I was with Nino's great aunt with Cammy, and… My precious daughter that I made a solemn vow never to harm, turned to this eight-something year old lady and says 'My maman has hair all around her pee-pee!' I simultaneously wanted to die from embarrassment and to drag Cammy into an early grave."

Marinette struggled to hold in her giggles over that, but when the two old friends looked at one another, they just about busted their guts laughing so hard. "Oh, children. Gotta love them because you can't return them," Marinette said with a roll of her eyes.

"But seriously though," Alya went on as she wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "What in the world brought that on? Claiming that you're Ladybug and Chat Noir?"

Marinette was silent for a moment as she thought of how she could get out of this. She'd gone for over a decade without her best friend— and owner of the Ladyblog— finding out her alternate identity. She wasn't about to let her own daughter rat her out like that.

And then it hit her. "This is super embarrassing, so promise that you won't tell anybody," Marinette said quietly.

"Cross my heart and hope to die," Alya said with all seriousness.

Marinette lead her friend into her own bedroom, and pushed open the closet doors. There, she pulled out a vast array of Ladybug themed sexy lingerie. And then, she pulled out some equally raunchy Chat Noir themed men's clothing. "It's… um… a bedroom thing," Marinette said rather sheepishly. "You know, roleplaying."

"Oh jeez, this is too much, Mari. I don't want to think about how Louise was conceived. Gross," Alya said as she cringed back away from the closet. "Although, since it's apparently TMI Wednesday, Nino and I normally just stick to the tried and true naughty school girl gets punished by her teacher. I'll put my hair into braids and I even found this micro tartan-"

"Enough! Enough!" Marinette said around a laugh. "I don't want to hear anymore, thanks!" Both women started laughing again. "Louise must have seen us one night. We'll have to be more careful about locking the door in the future. This is so awkward and embarrassing."

"Nothing quite like what Cammy did to me, though! Buck up— she's still young and still has a lot of awkward things to say. Especially to complete strangers!"

* * *

"Adrien, we need to have a serious conversation," Marinette said as soon as her husband came in.

"Uh-oh. What did I do?"

"No, I think that the blame is partly on us," Marinette said with a slight shake of her head. "Plagg, Tiki, could you come out, too? Because this conversation concerns you guys, too."

"Uh-oh," Adrien said as he sunk onto the sofa. "Now I've got a super bad feeling about this. What's going on, bugaboo?"

"Alya said that Louise told her today that we're Ladybug and Chat Noir," Marinette said simply.

"Of course she knows! We're her parents! I take her out at night all the time!" Adrien said with a frown. "But we've both talked to her about this, and made her pinky promise that she wouldn't tell a soul."

"Alya didn't seem suspicious, and seemed to buy my story of 'sexy roleplay'. It's just as well that we do that, and that we have so much clothes, though," Marinette said. "We need to have another talk with her about it, though."

"I think that it's too risky to keep taking her out as you have been," Tikki spoke up. "It was fine when she was a baby, because she wouldn't remember, and couldn't tell anybody even if she wanted to. But now, not only is she forming lasting memories, but she's also capable of communicating these thoughts to others. Like Alya."

"Yes, but she's also your kid," Plagg countered. "It's getting harder and hard to keep your sex lives from her— let alone your secret identities. Now that there's a new villain in town, you're on call 24/7, and you need to rush off at a moment's notice. I say let the kid know, but remind her of the consequences if she tells anyone."

"Oh yeah? And just what exactly are those consequences?" Marinette asked him sourly as she crossed her arms and cocked an eyebrow at the kwami.

"That you'll send her to live with The Meteorologist if she tells another soul," Plagg said with an evil laugh.

"PLAGG!" Adrien and Marinette hissed in unison.

"I am not going to tell my baby that she's going to go live with a super-villain if she's naughty!" Marinette snapped at him.

"I didn't say to use that as a catch-all punishment! Just if she blabs about your identities," Plagg said sourly.

"I may not agree with his offered punishment, but Plagg does have a point," Tikki said after a moment. "With a new villain, it's getting harder to maintain your identities."

"Ugh, don't you just miss the days of Hawk Moth?" Marinette said as she buried her face in a throw pillow.

"Life was a lot easier back then, but I must admit: I'd rather face one of the Weather Demons and raising a child with you by my side," Adrien said. He grabbed Marinette's hands hand pressed a kiss onto her knuckles. Then, he gently cupped her face and kissed her lips tenderly.

"And I think that this is our cue to leave," Plagg said. He zoomed off, but Tikki lingered behind for a moment.

"What are you going to do, though?" Tikki asked her charge.

"I guess that we'll have another talk with her, and remind her of how important it is that maman and papa keep their identities a secret," Marinette said with a heavy sigh.

"And, if she starts to tell other people, I guess that we can threaten to send her to Meteorologist."

"ADRIEN!"

"What?! I'm kidding! …Mostly."

Marinette scowled at her husband but then turned towards Louise's bedroom. "Louise, chaton? Could you come here for a second?"

"Coming maman!" Louise said. A second later, she ran into the room, all smiles and adorable pigtails.

"Louise, chaton, Auntie Alya told us that you told her that we're Ladybug and Chat Noir," Marinette started as she pulled her daughter onto her lap. "What have we told you about telling other people about that?"

The little girl was quiet for a moment as she thought through this. "You told me to not tell anyone," she said quietly. She looked up at her mother with wide, green eyes that were exactly like Adrien's.

"And what did you tell her?" Adrien said evenly.

"But papa-" Louise started.

"No buts, young lady!" Marinette said firmly. "You made us a promise, and you broke it."

Louise's face scrunched up and she began to cry. "Maman, please don't send me away to live with Meteorologist," she sobbed as she fell against her mother's chest.

Marinette and Adrien exchanged a panicked look over the top of Louise's head before Adrien shot a nasty glare at the cabinet where the two kwami lived.

"Chaton, bugaboo, we're not going to send you to live with Meteorologist," Marinette said quickly as she smoothed her hand over her daughter's black hair. "Where ever did you hear that from?"

"From Plagg," she sniffled.

"Well Plagg is mean and he will not get any Camembert cheese for the rest of the week for putting ideas like that into your head," Adrien said as he shot another dirty look at the cabinet.

"HEY!" the unlucky kwami protested as he shot out from the cabinet.

"Get back here, you pest!" Tikki growled as she grabbed Plagg by the ear and dragged him back inside.

Adrien and Marinette turned their attention back to Louise. "Chaton, do you understand why it is that you can't tell anybody about Ladybug and Chat Noir?"

Louise was quiet for a moment as she thought about this. "Yes! Meteorologist could hurt you!"

"That's right, bugaboo," Adrien said with a faint smile. "And if that were to happen, then something might also happen to you. Something bad. And we wouldn't want that, now, would we?" Silently, Louise, shook her head.

"Good, okay. So, please don't tell anybody about this. Not even Auntie Alya and Uncle Nino. Not even Cammy."

"But maman, Auntie Alya is Volpina!"

* * *

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